Saturday, May 19, 2007
Homer Simpson's all-time baseball team
Homer says: I first fell in love with baseball as a teenager. Like the players, I was always trying to get to second base in spite of the best efforts of the opposing team. Here's my all-time major league baseball roster.
Catcher: Yogi Berra
Hit home runs and stole picnic baskets. I like his life partner Boo Boo as well.
First Base: Bill Buckner
I've had a lot of things go through my legs too, so I can relate. Plus I know what it's like to be hated by a whole city.
Second Base: Billy Martin
Only major league player to get in more drunken bar brawls than me.
Third Base: Pete Rose
He's in my Hall of Fame for helping me place all those bets against the Reds
Shortstop: Cal Ripken Jr.
We share a special kinship, because I've been late to work 2,632 consecutive days.
Outfield: Harmon Killebrew
His name is what I do every night at Moe's.
Outfield: Ty Cobb
A great hitter, and he invented an awesome salad full of bacon and cheese.
Outfield: Ted Williams
Greatest hitter who ever lived, and he was just a frozen head! Just think what he could've done with a whole body.
Designated Hitter: That guy from "The Natural"
It was so cool when he broke that light and then ran in slow motion.
Starting Pitcher: Vida Blue
Hell of an arm, and his last name reminds me of the color of my pants.
Starting Pitcher: Sandy Koufax
Like him, I refuse to work on all Jewish holidays. L'chaim!
Relief Pitcher: Goose Gossage
Mmm, goose at the end of the game.
Now play ball, everybody!