Saw this on FoxSports:


Homer says: I first fell in love with baseball as a teenager. Like the players, I was always trying to get to second base in spite of the best efforts of the opposing team. Here's my all-time major league baseball roster.

Catcher: Yogi Berra
Hit home runs and stole picnic baskets. I like his life partner Boo Boo as well.

First Base: Bill Buckner
I've had a lot of things go through my legs too, so I can relate. Plus I know what it's like to be hated by a whole city.

Second Base: Billy Martin
Only major league player to get in more drunken bar brawls than me.

Third Base: Pete Rose
He's in my Hall of Fame for helping me place all those bets against the Reds

Shortstop: Cal Ripken Jr.
We share a special kinship, because I've been late to work 2,632 consecutive days.

Outfield: Harmon Killebrew
His name is what I do every night at Moe's.

Outfield: Ty Cobb
A great hitter, and he invented an awesome salad full of bacon and cheese.

Outfield: Ted Williams
Greatest hitter who ever lived, and he was just a frozen head! Just think what he could've done with a whole body.

Designated Hitter: That guy from "The Natural"
It was so cool when he broke that light and then ran in slow motion.

Starting Pitcher: Vida Blue
Hell of an arm, and his last name reminds me of the color of my pants.

Starting Pitcher: Sandy Koufax
Like him, I refuse to work on all Jewish holidays. L'chaim!

Relief Pitcher: Goose Gossage
Mmm, goose at the end of the game.

Now play ball, everybody!